What’s the Big Deal about Emotional Purity?

Cza de Leon-Rola

February 26, 2020

People have different views and opinions about emotional purity.

Some see emotional purity as a conviction to keep your heart intact and to not easily give its pieces away because it is meant for your future spouse.

Others say that guarding one’s emotional purity is too good to be true, something that’s too ideal and impossible to achieve in today’s generation.

Maybe some people have not even heard of it at all.


So, ano nga ba ang emotional purity?

Let’s begin with what it is not…

Emotional purity is not about not liking anyone or having a perfect record of no crush since birth.

Emotional purity is not just about your love life—but it includes it.

Emotional purity is not only for women, but for men, too.


For sure, tungkol na naman ito sa “Guard your heart…”

You are right! But not completely.

You see, maybe as a Christian, you’ve heard this verse over and over again. You’ve probably gotten sick and tired of hearing it, till you reached the point where you said, “Pwedeng ibang verse naman?”

But most of the time we miss the last part of the verse—the reason why we need to do so.

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Proverbs 4:23

Everything you do flows from your heart.

What was the last thing you did that you regret doing? Surely, it started with a desire that filled your heart and drove you to action.

Yes, what you allow to enter your heart matters a lot. The content of your heart shapes how you feel and what you believe.


So what’s the deal with emotional purity? Why do I need to hear about it?

We all have emotions, whether you’re a guy or a girl. Even those who consider themselves as the “non-emotional type” have emotions deep down in their hearts.

Our emotions, if not guarded or controlled, can actually affect our decision-making and control our lives.

For instance, most of our battles on sexual purity begin with the heart, particularly with our emotions. Whatever or whoever captures our heart controls our lives.

Emotions aren’t bad. Emotions are a part of our existence, and they can actually make life fuller. Because we reflect God’s image, we have emotions just as God has emotions.

Guarding our emotional purity is important because if our emotions are left unchecked or unguarded, our lives might be at stake when we let our emotions take over.


So, ang ibig bang sabihin ng emotional purity ay bawal akong magmahal?

Teka lang, teka lang, teka lang muna. Sa’n galing yun?

Hindi bawal ang magmahal. Actually, “Masarap magmahal, huwag mo lang dumihan.”

I heard this from a fellow campus missionary, and it stuck with me. Wala nga namang problema kung magmahal ka o magkagusto ka; ang mahalaga, huwag lang nating dumihan ang pagmamahal.

I believe this is the heart of emotional purity. All emotions are valid, but the moment we let malice, anger, lust, and unforgiveness crawl into our hearts, that’s where our emotions become toxic.

I have been asked if it is okay to have a best friend of the opposite gender.

Imagine this with me: When you eventually get married, your spouse will then become your best friend, as should be the case.

What will it look like if you have an opposite-gender best friend aside from your spouse? Or, ex-bestfriend na lang ba?

For sure, alam mong may mali kapag mas alam pa ng best friend mo ang mga bagay-bagay sa’yo kesa sa asawa mo.

For every emotional investment, emotional attachment is involved. Kaninong puso ngayon ang makukulangan at masasaktan? Ang catch, paano kung ikaw si best friend?


Okay, so paano nga ba mag “guard your heart?”

I’ve always pictured my heart as a house. No one enters it unless I welcome them. It has rooms that I fill with things and people I cherish the most. These are the very people that take most of my time, energy, and effort. They fill my thoughts and affect my emotions.

Ang tanong, what consumes your heart and mind?


Be aware of the things that consume your heart.

We open the door and give access to the things we allow. We get consumed with the ones that dwell inside our house. The longer they stay, the stronger they get a hold of us.

You see, hindi mo naman hahayaan pumasok ang isang stranger sa bahay mo ‘di ba? That means, we only give the key to our house to people we trust.

Sometimes, we fill our rooms with so many things that it becomes cluttered and we can’t breathe anymore.

Have you ever tried filling a gap with something that wasn’t big enough to close it?

Our deepest longings can only be filled by the One who knows you the best: the One who created you.


You can only find complete emotional fulfillment from the one who can fill it.

Why buy a bag of chips that is half-full?

When we settle for temporary things to satisfy our emotional needs, it’s like buying a bag of chips that’s only half-full. We shortchange ourselves.

Many people settle for relationships that are toxic, sinful, or abusive because of a legitimate emotional need.

Why not reconsider? Instead of meeting your legitimate needs illegitimately, allow God to mend your wounds and satisfy your needs. Reconsider the things and the people that you allow entry into your heart.


Lastly, honor God with your emotions.

At its core, purity is a status that we have because of what Christ did on the cross for us. It’s not because of the things we do for ourselves. But as we walk in this status and decide to live a pure life, we remember Jesus and set Him apart as the Lord, who takes charge of the entire house—our whole hearts—and not just the rooms.

Honor Christ and let him be the Lord of your life.

1 Peter 3:15a (CEV)

Honoring God with our emotions, words, thoughts, and actions goes beyond just the aspect of romantic relationships. It deals with everything we welcome into our hearts.

We should also honor God if we experience an overlooked offense or unresolved hurt. We can do this by cultivating a forgiving and loving heart toward others.

We need Jesus’ help to achieve emotional purity, because without Him, it is impossible.




The Author

Cza de Leon-Rola

Czarina Rola is a campus missionary in Victory U-Belt. She loves cooking Bicol Express, reading books, and binge-watching post-apocalyptic movies. She is married to Jonas, who is also a campus missionary. They plan to have three baby Rola's soon.