April 07, 2021
I wish I could tell you that things will be alright soon, but I know that I’m in no position to say that. Deep in my heart I’m really desperate to comfort and affirm you, but I know that there’s nothing I can say to ease your pain or make you feel better.
Only the heart knows its own misery, so I will never fully grasp the intensity of your pain. The passing of your loved one must have left a gaping void in your heart—a vast black hole that none can fill, a permanent wound that, perhaps, will never fully heal in this lifetime.
The loss of a loved one can be seen and felt in the tiny details of life, like the clothes left hanging in the closet, the shoes on the rack that will never get worn again, or that person’s familiar scent in a room you wish would never fade away.
I’ve lost a dear friend once, and my heart was crushed with the realization that I will never hear her voice or see her face again in this lifetime. She was a familiar sight that I will no longer gaze upon; her empty chair is a constant reminder of the day she passed. I remember the feeling of wanting to move on from the pain while also hanging on to it, if that’s the only way to keep her memory alive in my heart.
When someone you love dies, you don’t just lose one person; you lose a person who played many different roles in your life—your best friend, confidant, travel companion, guardian, or parent. You didn’t just lose a person; you lost a relationship. And though there are still other people in your life who love you and are with you, they can never replace the person you’ve just lost.
I’ve heard it said that we never fully recover from the pain of losing a loved one; we only learn how to live with the pain. I pray that with each passing day, you will find the strength to get up and move forward in life despite your grief.
As you go through these trying times, may you always be reminded of this truth: You are not alone. You need not go through your season of grief by yourself. May you find comfort in the company of friends who may not know the right words to say, but are trying their best to communicate their love to you through their presence.
When friends and family fall short in helping you bear the pain, there is Someone who weeps with you and embraces you when only your pillow is there to comfort you. God cares deeply when the people He loves die (Psalm 116:15). He isn’t unaffected or detached. He walks with you through the valley of the shadow of death. He is mindful of your misery. Your tears are precious to Him and He collects them in His jar. (Psalm 56:8)
He promises comfort for those who mourn, for He is close to the brokenhearted and to those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). When He said He will never leave you nor forsake you, He meant it and is committed to fulfill it.
You are not alone in the valley of grief.
He understands your pain, and you can come to Him just as you are—with all of your anger, doubts, questions, and regrets. He is patient and gentle in spirit; He will not judge you for your weakness or rush you towards recovery. You don’t need to hide your tears or pretend to be strong in the presence of your Heavenly Dad.
So, go through the process of healing with God. Be patient with yourself; don’t rush your healing. Acknowledge your hurt and recognize the pain of loss. Express your grief and agony, and mourn your way toward healing.
When grief is overwhelming and words fail to express your hurt, you can cry out to God freely. The Holy Spirit is there to speak on your behalf and pray with you with groaning too deep for words (Romans 8:26). As you allow Him to journey with you through your pain, He will heal your brokenness and bind up your wounds. (Psalm 147:3)
In your place of grief, God will meet you with healing in His wings.
May you find strength in this truth: Death may end a life, but it need not extinguish our hope, because we have a Living Hope who rose from the dead, Jesus Christ, and though we may die, we will be raised with Him.
Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. Everyone who lives in my and believes in me will never ever die.”
John 11:25–26 (NLT)
The death of a loved one is truly painful beyond words, but we can grieve with hope.
For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died.
1 Thessalonians 4:14
Until that day comes, may you find strength in God. His power is made perfect in our weakness. May the knowledge of His steadfast love hold you together whenever your emotions seem to fall apart.
I am with you in praying for Jesus’ return. Prepare for your most-awaited reunion with the person you’ve just lost, for a time is coming when God will wipe away every tear from our eyes. Death will no longer tear families apart.
If you need anyone to talk to or to pray for you, please send us a message. We’re here to stand with you.