“2020 Left Me Wounded; Can I Believe Again?”

Kat Melocoton

January 11, 2021

I started 2020 with great faith.

I remember how excited I was to write all my plans in my journal. God assured me that He had so many things in store for me. I had high hopes that I would graduate, that there would be ample provision for my family, and more!

Then the pandemic came.

My family had no income for several months. We didn’t know where we would get provision for our daily expenses. I should have been working by now, but because I didn’t graduate, I couldn’t contribute financially. 

We experienced a lot of turmoil as a family and because of that, I started wondering. I looked at my journal with tears in my eyes and asked, “Lord, You promised me these things. Will they be fulfilled?”

There will be things that will scar our faith.

A lot of things scarred my faith—delayed promises, unmet expectations, and a seemingly dim future. Just like you, some instances wounded my trust in God. Yet in those trying times, I was reminded about God’s promise to Abraham.

The Lord told him that he would be a great nation, yet the promise seemed impossible. I imagine him coming to God every day: “Lord, about your promise . . . is it really going to happen?”

I can relate to Abraham. I know God sees me. But many times, I find it hard to understand Him. My hopes were crushed, and I felt like there was no moving forward. In all honesty, it crossed my mind that I would have no good future.

Then I remembered Abraham’s faith. Even though his body was as good as dead, he didn’t doubt God’s promise for a son. Though the waiting may have caused him a lot of pain, he still chose to believe. And God proved Himself faithful.

When I reflected on Abraham’s faith, I realized God wanted me to set my eyes on Him and keep doing what He wanted me to do. I was committed to His calling and purpose for my life, even if I didn’t know how He would accomplish His plans for me.

I’m wounded but instead of magnifying my pain, it became my reason to depend on God more. I asked Him for the grace to fix my eyes on Him, hear from Him, and keep trusting and obeying Him. 

God wants us to fix our eyes on Him. He will never leave us hanging.

By faith, I started a small business during the crisis and I was overwhelmed by how God blessed it! I didn’t expect this humble business to grow in the midst of a pandemic. 

I was praying for provision, and the Lord faithfully answered in ways I didn’t expect. Truly, our God would never leave us.

He is with us when life is good, and He is also with us at the lowest points of our lives. I can always count on His presence and provision.

There’s still reason to hope for 2021!

Despite the stress and pain of 2020, I am blessed and joyful because I found healing and grace despite my doubts and shortcomings.

Most of our dreams, plans, and hopes last year may have been crushed by the pandemic. Perhaps, 2020 left us wounded and wondering if there’s any reason to hope this year. God wants us to recall stories of His faithfulness. Let this reminder fill us with hope for 2021.

No unbelief made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.

Romans 4:20–21

 

Photo by: Hannah Tan

 

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The Author

Kat Melocoton

Kat is a student from Valenzuela who loves coffee. Her life radically changed after she met Jesus—the person she didn’t know she had been longing for. Kat feels complete and enjoys her child-like pursuit of God every day. She is more concerned about the unfading beauty that comes from within, which is greatly loved by her Abba, Father.

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