Last year, 2020, was the toughest year of my life. I lost a lot and went through a lot of stressful events that threatened to shatter my sense of security in the midst of the pandemic. 

It was the year when my mom and dad separated and our small business—our only source of income—didn’t do well. On top of that, we were in debt and we were about to be homeless.

I was in pain, but I was also in faith. If there was anything that I consistently did during those hard times, it was to run to God and to call my small group leader almost every day to process everything in light of God’s word. I even remember holding on to the verse from Psalm 23:6 that says, “Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.” It was tough, but I knew in my heart that my situation didn’t nullify the goodness and faithfulness of God in my life.

I prayed to God for provision. I honestly didn’t know how it was possible due to my lack of credentials, on top of my school work and my commitment to SynthEthics, a scientific community aiming to address ethical questions regarding biology and genetic engineering. Yet God impressed upon me that I have to take small steps of faith, starting with applying for work. 

I applied and got accepted to my first ever part-time online job as an Amazon product researcher with a 10,000-peso salary per month. It wasn’t the job I wanted, but I accepted the offer because I was desperate to earn and help provide for my family. I was about to undergo the training when I got an email from Mini-Farm, a hydroponics company in the US, informing me that my application in onlinejobs.ph stood out. They wanted to interview me on the same day and at the same time as my training. I was grateful, but at the same time, anxious and confused knowing that if I made the wrong decision, I could end up losing both opportunities.

I took a leap of faith and chose Mini-Farm. I felt like that’s where God was calling me to, especially when He gave me a vision that Mini-Farm is a place where I won’t just be earning money but, more importantly, a place where I can fully utilize the skills and knowledge that He has given me to serve and bless other people.

I got in and fast forward to 2021, I find myself earning enough to pay our bills and rent. In addition to that, God appointed me to a position where I can help feed many by teaching them how to grow food in their own homes, even with very little space. Currently, I work as a full-stack plant expert, where I’m mainly responsible for making beginner-friendly and rich-media guides on how to grow crops hydroponically. I also get to create educational and creative farming content for our social media accounts. And somehow, God has also given me the grace to still persevere in my studies and other commitments.

This journey helped me realize three things:

1. God is with us in the wilderness.

During this pandemic we are all in a wilderness where everything is limited. Some of us may only have five loaves and two fish left on our table. No matter how little we have, God is with us and that is our greatest assurance. He is capable and willing to multiply the little that we have and use it to serve others and for His glory. 

2. God is our ultimate security.

The company I worked for wasn’t spared from the devastating effects of the pandemic. In just a month, I witnessed how we’ve lost millions due to shipping delays. We almost got bankrupt. This made me realize that nothing in this world could guarantee security. Our jobs, our businesses, and our money can be easily lost and wiped out. Truly, our sole source of our security is God and God alone.

This I declare about the LORD: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He is my God, and I trust Him.

Psalm 91:2 (NLT)

3. God gives us a mission, and it is simply to go.

It wasn’t my job to secure my life. It wasn’t my job to know what’s going to happen in the future. It wasn’t my job for miracles to occur. It wasn’t my job and I didn’t have the ability—God does. My job is to simply go and follow wherever God is leading me to and to be faithful to it.

Go and see. Go and share the gospel. Go and be salt and light to the world. 

And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.”

Mark 16:15

“In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”

Matthew 5:16

Photo from: Bea Suavengco