Is It Wrong for a Student to Be in a Romantic Relationship?

Jello de los Reyes

February 12, 2020

So, you’re reading this article because you’re either:

a. In a relationship and you want to know what people think about it;

b. Secretly liking someone and you’re considering getting into a relationship with that person; or

c. You’re single, and you want your friends to stay single as well (Haha!)

Whether you’re any of these three or you’re just looking around, this question has caught your attention because it’s probably one of the frequently asked questions.

Sabi ng mga nakatatanda, “Bata ka pa! Tsaka mo na isipin yan kapag may ipapakain ka na sa pamilya mo!”

Yung iba naman ang sinasabi, “Okay lang yan, pero huwag niyo masyadong seryosohin. Gawin mo lang inspirasyon.”

Ano ba talaga?

 

Masama bang pumasok sa relasyon ang isang estudyante?

The quick answer is no. Hindi naman bawal.

Romantic relationships are part of God’s plan and design. He created us with a capacity to love with marriage in mind—the kind of marriage that will produce godly offspring and will subdue the earth with His glory and righteousness.

So, yes, okay lang pumasok sa relasyon basta’t malinaw sa’yo ang purpose nito at ang intention mo dito. Intentions must be clear because love and relationships should be taken seriously.

Modern courtship has lost the beauty and value of pursuit. Instead of pursuing the woman they like, some men have settled in testing the waters, playing safe, dropping clues instead of laying down clear intentions. “Ninja moves,” ika nga nila.

Some women, on the other hand, have settled for less because of their need to be wanted and desired. Instead of looking for love from the right Source, they choose to anchor their self-worth from the love and attention of men.

 

Bro, kung manliligaw ka lang para may patunayan sa sarili mo at sa ibang tao, preno muna. Kung manliligaw ka lang dahil nalulungkot ka at naghahanap ka ng kalinga, palipasin mo na lang muna ‘yan. Ang panliligaw ay isang seryosong bagay. Hindi lang kasi emosyon ang nakasalalay dito, kundi pati ang kinabukasan ninyo.

Girls, kung may nanliligaw sa inyo o meron kayong nagugustuhan, huwag magpadalos-dalos. Lead your heart and guard your emotions. Siguraduhin mo munang malinaw ang intensyon niyan sa’yo, malinaw ang direksyon niya sa buhay, at alam niya ang purpose ng pagpasok sa isang romantic relationship.

Don’t give yourself away too easily. Know your worth. Don’t settle for imitations of love because you deserve the real thing.

 

So, kung malinaw ang intention at purpose ng relationship, ibig bang sabihin ay pwede na?

Pwede naman. But there’s wisdom in this verse:

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. . . . He has made everything beautiful in its time.

Ecclesiastes 3:1,11

May tamang panahon para sa lahat ng bagay.

The best time to plant a crop is during its proper season. Is it bad to plant a crop when it’s off-season? Not really. But will it yield fruit? Maybe not. Maybe it could, but it’s going to cost a lot of effort, energy, and resources. But when the season is right, fruitfulness comes almost effortlessly. In the same way, the best time to get into a relationship is during its proper season. God has made everything beautiful in its time. The best thing to do is to wait for God’s right time.

Bukod sa attraction, compatibility, at “love” para sa isa’t isa, mahalaga din ang character at maturity. Character and maturity are tested and developed through time. Minsan, kahit sincere naman ang intentions, hindi nagiging maganda ang resulta dahil wala pa sa tamang panahon.

 

Okay, so kailan ang best season para pumasok sa relationship?

The right season to be in a relationship is determined by your readiness. Hindi porket graduate ka na ay ibig sabihin na ready ka na for a relationship. And so the better question to ask is not “when” but “how.”

How do you prepare yourself for such a commitment?

 Getting into a relationship is a lot like building a house:

It starts with a clear vision of how you want your house to look.

Make a design and create a blueprint.

Assess the cost and make sure that you have enough resources.

Get the necessary resources, call the right people, and start building the house.

 

That’s why King Solomon wrote this:

Do your planning and prepare your fields before building your house.

Proverbs 24:27 (NLT)

Kapag walang tamang paghahanda sa isang relasyon, hindi ito magtatagumpay, kahit gaano pa kabusilak ang intensyon at pagmamahal mo.

Every season in our lives is a preparation for the next. And the best time to prepare for the rainy season is during summer. The best time to prepare is now.

 

Ano ang mga kailangan kong paghandaan bago pumasok sa isang relasyon?

1. Your financial readiness.

Kagaya ng pagtatayo ng isang bahay, may kaakibat ding obligasyon ang pagtataguyod ng relasyon at pamilya. For students, the best way to build your financial readiness is to focus on your studies and develop your financial discipline in managing your allowance.

2. Your emotional readiness.

Hindi lang puro kilig at saya ang isang relasyon. Masusubok ang relasyon kapag lumipas na ang kilig at napapadalas na ang pag-aaway. Emotional readiness means being mature enough to handle your emotions even in the midst of stress, pressure, or conflict. Kamusta ang emotional maturity mo sa gitna ng problema o conflict?

3. Your relational readiness.

Isang magandang sukatan ng kahandaan sa pagpasok sa relasyon ay ang kakayanan mong pahalagahan ang pamilya mo, pakisamahan ang mga kaibigan mo, at mahalin ang mga tao sa paligid mo. Kung papalit-palit ka ng best friend at tropa dahil hindi mo sila makasundo, maaring hindi pa matibay ang relational readiness mo.

4. Your spiritual readiness.

The best lovers are those who have a close relationship with the God of love. Kapag mataas ang spiritual maturity, matibay din ang character, malalim ang wisdom, mahaba ang pasensya, at marunong magmahal nang tama.

 

***

If you’re a student who is currently in a relationship, I pray that you’ll be able to honor God in your relationship. Seek help and guidance from people who can give you godly counsel. May you receive grace and wisdom in order to succeed in building a God-honoring relationship.

If you’re a student who is still single, okay lang yan! Don’t feel pressured to conform to the standards of those around you. I pray that you find the will and the right motivation to guard your heart until the right season comes.

But whether you’re in a relationship or not, the wisest thing to do is to seek godly advice from married couples. If you’ve been blessed with godly parents, I’m sure that they‘d love to guide you and walk with you in this season of your life. By getting them involved and listening to their advice even in matters of love and relationships, you’re honoring them and making them feel loved and respected as your parents.

 

Sabi nga ni Haring Solomon:

Do not stir up or awaken love until the appropriate time.

Song of Solomon 8:4 (CSB)

 

 

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The Author

Jello de los Reyes

Jello was a Mass Communications major in Journalism at the Philippine Christian University Manila. His ultimate dream was to become a journalist until he realised the platform intended for him is not a page from the dailies, but that from the books of heaven. He answered the call to full-time ministry in a campus conference in 2013, and currently serves as the campus director of Every Nation Campus Imus in Cavite. Jello says that nothing beats the joy of seeing young students surrender their lives to Christ.

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