February 26, 2019
Sometimes, God’s best for you isn’t a person. And that’s okay.
I think that if we looked in the dictionary of “Ultimate Christian Lingo,” the term “God’s best” would probably be one of the most used. We love the idea that someone out there is being prepared and pruned by God to meet you. And trust me, I love that thought as much as the next girl.
I’m turning 20 years old in April. Big oof. Twenty years of being alive, but also 20 years of not having a boyfriend. Bigger oof!
I could pretend and say that I’ve always been totally okay with singlehood, but I’d be lying on a church blog! Especially after witnessing malls and social media on Valentine’s Day, it’s almost impossible not to wish you didn’t spend Heart’s Day alone, in your room, with a bag of Chiz Curls, watching Netflix. I feel like even the Netflix characters are pitying me for being single. I mean, sometimes, even I pity myself for being single.
When I was 13, I had my first crush. “Ain’t nobody that compared to my baby…” But seriously, when I was 13, I had a huge crush on a boy (naging mag-MU nga kami eh).
Young and naive, I believed in my heart that he was “God’s best” for me. But the heart is deceitful! No offense to the guy — he was really great and there was nothing wrong with him. Sometimes we tend to try to blame our relationship failures on one person, you or him. But I’ve seen it happen often enough to know that it’s not the variables, but the equation that’s the problem. It’s not you, not him, it’s just you in his life right now or vice versa.
So, as you probably expected, like most “first loves,” we didn’t end up together. Lines were blurred, things became confusing—not really toxic, but I felt the consequences of going against God’s timeline. Joy was lost, and I became distracted for the wrong things. A few years later, I had to make the decision to let him go. I realised that maybe the reason why I couldn’t fall in love with God was because I was so busy trying to fall in love with someone else. And I knew that wasn’t what I wanted for myself.
The moment I decided to focus on God, I wrote on a little piece of paper, “the one who took the spot in my heart not made for human flesh” and threw it off the 42nd floor on New Year’s Eve. (Ang drama ko, diba? I know, okay!)
Right at that moment, I felt free. It was the first time I was able to bask in God’s love the way I was supposed to at that time in my life. Anything out of God’s will is a distraction to you and your walk with Him.
I want to enjoy the kind of love I get from God as a single person. I realised how much more time I could spend on my devotions instead of frustratedly waiting for a good morning text—how I can choose to get to know my Creator before I get to know the man He created who would become my husband; how I can give my time to flourishing my career or my energy to being a student; how I can make sacrifices for myself and my family before I learn to make sacrifices for my future family. Although experiencing these things with your love interest is great, I know I will reach that someday. Why force a certain season on your life when you can live beautifully in this one?
Sometimes we get too focused on the fact that God hasn’t provided a boyfriend for us that we miss out on everything else He has provided for. The other “God’s bests.” Maybe they’re the people He put in your life. I always tell those people, “you’re a tangible expression of God’s love for me.” And it’s true.
And whether you’d like to accept it or not, school or work can be a “God’s best” for you, the ability to learn or work (no matter how early in the morning!) is a blessing. And not only do you learn just for your own growth or work just to earn money, you get to serve others through them! For instance, I was given the privilege to use my platform to speak hope and life to young people. These blessings are all under God’s provision for your life. They’re things you might’ve overlooked because you were looking the other way.
Instead of asking God for a boyfriend, let’s choose to ask, “Lord, what are the things you want me to enjoy as a single person?”
So yes, sometimes God’s best for you isn’t a person. But the truth is, God’s best for you is always gonna be having Him in your life. And that’s more than okay.
A girl enjoying God’s best right now