When You’re Experiencing FOMO in Relationships

David Laureta

February 18, 2020

When I was in college, I used to eat at this burger place at least once a month. Since the space was limited, I often found myself in the same situation more times than I could count: I was surrounded by couples while I sat there alone.

It seemed like my hunger for burgers triggered another hunger in me—a longing to be with someone in a romantic way. Munching through my burger became less satisfying as I got reminded of what I was missing out on. My stomach was full, but my heart was not.

 

FOMO: Fear of Missing Out

The fear of missing out is the “anxious feeling you get when you feel other people might be having a good time without you.”

Nowadays, FOMO makes us constantly check our social media accounts to see what our friends are up to. Checking their IG stories or MyDay sometimes leaves you wishing you were with them. Sana all, di ba?

FOMO is what you feel when you’ve been invited to a shindig or hangout but couldn’t make it. It’s also what you feel when you see your friends having the time of their lives, but they seemed to have forgotten to at least invite you. (This one is more painful actually!)

But FOMO isn’t just confined to friendships. We could also feel the fear of missing out on having a romantic relationship, especially around this season.

Have you ever noticed that almost every ad preys on your fears and insecurities? We are constantly bombarded by ads and media that remind us what we’re missing out on. Like me in that restaurant, the things we see on TV and social media rub salt into the wounds of our soul and trigger that hunger in us—that internal longing for love.

 

How can we overcome FOMO in relationships?

The first step is ACCEPTANCE.

You’re a student. You’re single. You’re not in a relationship. This is your current season. And you know what? It’s totally fine.

It’s not bad to be single. When our motivation to enter a relationship is fueled by our insecurities, we could end up in a toxic relationship that saps our energy and steals our joy.

Accept your current season with open arms. It’s not a point against your worth and identity if you’re not in a relationship. You’re not missing out on anything when you know that God, the ultimate Source of love and affection, can satisfy even your deepest longing. And the best thing about God is that He loves you and pursues you every single moment!

 

This leads us to the second step: BE SECURE.

It takes faith to believe that your current season (and relationship status) is exactly where God wants you to be at this moment.

The world feeds on our needs and insecurities, and that’s what ads try to offer you. But what the world offers are band-aid solutions to a deeper need, something that not even the best romantic relationship can satisfy.

This eternal longing can only be satisfied by an eternal love that only God can give.

Be secure in your worth. You don’t need a romantic relationship to complete you. If you’re ever feeling lonely or incomplete, God’s love will complete you and mend your brokenness.

Be secure in your identity. You are wonderfully made by God. A romantic relationship or lack thereof does not add to or diminish how much God loves you. You were created after God’s image and likeness. You are valuable, precious, and dearly loved.

It’s okay to miss out on romantic relationships for now if that would mean experiencing the best kind of love that anyone can experience. This allows us to love others unconditionally, whether in a romantic way or not.

That burger place I used to frequent? Sadly it closed down a few years back. I miss the burger. I miss the couches. I cherish my time there.

As it closed, I, too, found my own closure with missing out. I am content, knowing that God ultimately desires the best for me and has my life all planned out. I’m excited about how His story for me will unfold.

 

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The Author

David Laureta

David is a Laker-lifer and a full-time campus missionary at Every Nation Campus Katipunan. He loves to eat, to play and analyze sports, lip sync in groceries, and cover all these in his IG stories.

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