February 28, 2019
I have never been this embarrassed my whole life.
I was single by choice (well, mostly my choice; some, by others’ choices), but I was 18, a freshman in college, and relationships were all the rage.
We were enamored with watching romantic sunsets where couples held hands and gave teddy bears and handwritten love letters.
I don’t remember the exact words I said or the comments they made. All I remember was when they asked me what I thought about romantic relationships,
I just said I was willing to wait.
Some laughed, most of them pitied me, and others thought I was pretentious and unrealistic.
With the rest of the world in a rush, taking your time seemed weird, revolutionary even, most especially to my classmates who couldn’t believe someone was okay with being single.
To be honest, I wasn’t entirely okay with it. I admired girls and found them pretty. I even thought about getting into a relationship, but I just knew that it was time to stay put.
It isn’t easy. Waiting for worthy things is never easy, but here’s what we need to know:
I met my closest friends as a single person. We laughed, cried, bonded, and argued together and just loved each other dearly.
Being single does not equate to being alone or lonely. In this season of being single, make sure you meet friends—people who love God and will help you grow more in Him.
Most of my close friends are either married or in a relationship now, and to have seen them wait and now flourish in a relationship is a beautiful sight.
Find people who can stand with you in this season of being single; people who get what you’re going through and will support you.
Waiting is growing. Waiting is building. Waiting is learning.
No matter how fast things get in this world—faster deliveries of online purchases or even mobile data speed—genuinely good things take time.
Learn to trust the process, appreciate what is in front of you, and enjoy your season of being single. Build lifelong friendships, invest in personal growth, do the things that you love while you still have the luxury of time. Embrace this season as your preparation for the next seasons of your life.
God has made everything beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). There is beauty in waiting for the moment. Don’t just endure the season; enjoy it and make the best of it.
Some of you might think, if I don’t practice now, how will I ever be good at getting the girl?
You’re not wrong. In fact, I worried about that too.
I remember asking my Victory group leader about this, and he reminded me that many of the things I will need to flourish in a relationship aren’t romantic to the world—things like being truly loving, hardworking, patient, thoughtful, and making wise decisions.
These are the things that aren’t often seen in movies or TV shows. I’m still working on these things, to be honest, but I’m glad that I do have the time to get better at it.
You can always practice loving people without the romantic feelings. It’s like learning to surf. I remember having to practice all the essentials on the shore. It felt dumb and useless. But as soon as the unpredictable waves came in, I was ready.
True love can begin even before a romantic relationship starts. Be a selfless friend, an honest classmate, and a loving son or daughter.
Why are you still single? Maybe it is by choice or because of others’ choices. Maybe you’re single because it’s just not the right time yet.
But whatever the case, you’re still single because God has something good planned. Better than what we can ask or imagine. Better than what we can do or reach on our own.
One thing’s for sure: waiting on God’s good work will always be worth it.