Tips and Advice Para sa mga In a Relationship

Aaron and Ahira Santelices

February 18, 2021

So, you’re in a relationship. Great! We genuinely want to celebrate with you! Being in a relationship can be a source of joy and inspiration, so we hope that you’d experience the pleasure of being with someone you love.

We hate to burst your bubble, but relationships are not always like the stuff we see in fairy tales or K-Drama. It’s not always kilig, slow-mos, glitters, and rainbows. In reality, pursuing a godly relationship takes a lot of effort and energy. It requires faith, wisdom, emotional strength, and a degree of readiness in certain areas.

That’s why if you’re a student, we hope that you’ve taken time to pray about it and seek guidance before entering a romantic relationship.

As Christians, our aim should be to build and pursue godly relationships. But this can be very difficult at times. When you’re in a relationship, some things could test your resolve and blur boundaries such as peer pressure, media influence, or your strong emotions for each other.

To help you pursue a godly romantic relationship, we listed a few reminders below. We hope that these will guide you as you learn the ropes and navigate your way through your relationship.

Disclaimer: If you’re reading this and wala ka pang jowa, okay lang ’yan! Read and learn in advance. Pwede mo rin ’tong i-share sa mga kaibigan mo.

Wah! It’s Me and My Jowa!

1. Inspire each other to grow. Huwag pabayaan ang studies.

If you’re still wondering what you’re called to do in this particular season of your life, allow us to help you: You are called to study. You are a “student.” Therefore, you are to study.

Being in a relationship should not hinder you from doing what you’re called by God to do. Instead, it should inspire you to pursue your dreams and calling in life.

Tips:

Pwedeng mag-aral nang sabay o magtulungan sa assignment.

Huwag puyatin ang isa’t isa kapag may pasok kinabukasan.

Iwasang mag-away kapag exam week.

We hope that your relationship will help you become better students, and not the opposite.

2. Magmahalan; huwag magsakitan.

Love without expecting anything in return. Understand each other and try to be patient with each other. Kapag nasaktan ka, forgive. Kung ikaw naman ang nakasakit, ask for forgiveness and commit to do better next time. Listen to each other. Communicate to each other lovingly and regularly.

There will be fights. Magkakainisan at mag-aaway kayo. Maraming mga bagay ang hindi ninyo mapagkakasunduan. When that time comes, remember not to curse. When we say curse, we don’t just mean na wag ninyong murahin ang isa’t isa kapag nag-aaway. We also mean that you refrain from saying hurtful and destructive words like, “Wala kang kwenta,” “Wala ka na talagang pag-asa,” “Hindi ka na magbabago,” o “Ganyan ka na talaga.”

These words leave a mark on a person’s soul and destroy their self-concept. People hold on to these spoken lies; they carry them around and these bleed into their other relationships.

Sabi nga sa Proverbs 12:18, “Thoughtless words can wound as deeply as any sword, but wisely spoken words can heal.”

If you’re mad and are about to burst, take a deep breath, calm your nerves, and pray that you will have the right heart and that God will give you the right words to say.

3. Protect each other. Don’t engage in sexual sins. 

We couldn’t emphasize this enough. Romance is God’s idea, and sexual intimacy is a part of it. God’s desire is for us to enjoy the fullness of romantic relationships within the boundaries of marriage. 

But the enemy wants to destroy the beautiful things that God created. God desires for you to flourish in your relationship—with Him at the center. But when you allow sin to enter your relationship, it will destroy you and your love for each other. That’s what sin always does.

That’s why the Bible says, “Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” (1 Corinthians 6:18, NLT)

If you’re a Christian, remember that “your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God. You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” (1 Corinthians 6:19–20)

Set clear boundaries to avoid temptations. This could mean guarding the extent of your physical touch, not allowing yourselves to be alone together in a private place, avoiding sleepovers, not going to places that could lead you to temptation, or avoiding sensual topics that may awaken any sexual desires. 

Agree on these boundaries, commit to uphold them, and ask trusted people to look after you in this area.

Remember, sex is a beautiful thing, which God had ordained within the bounds of marriage. It’s definitely worth the wait.

If you’re tempted or struggling in this area, we pray that the grace of God will help you say no to sin (Titus 2:11–12). It is also wise to open up about this to your leaders or spiritual mentors, so they can help you overcome it. 

4. Stay connected to others. Huwag gawing mundo si jowa.

Alam naming masaya kayo sa isa’t isa, pero wag niyong paikutin ang mundo niyo sa isa’t isa. Wag mo siyang sambahin. Hindi ’yan si Lord. Wag mong ialay ang lahat sa kanya. And don’t isolate yourselves.

Relationships are meant to be celebrated and enjoyed in community. Involve other people who can guide, protect, and mentor you. Seek their counsel and guidance. Ask questions. Learn from them. 

Remember, may life ka pa outside of that relationship. Your relationship is just one aspect of your life. There are other other things that you need to steward, and you have other relationships aside from your special someone. You have your family, friends, and your relationship with God.

5. Grow together. Huwag maghatakan pababa.

Grow in your relationship with God. Encourage each other to be better Christians, students, children, or friends.

Do not cause the other person to stumble. Do not cause each other to lie to your parents, your mentors, or other key relationships. Do not tolerate bad character.

Love takes no pleasure in evil or wrongdoing, but it rejoices with the truth (1 Corinthians 13:6). Kung talagang mahal ninyo ang isa’t isa, you’ll bring out the best in each other.

***

These are just some of the many things we’ve learned from love and relationships. In the end, the greatest guide on how to love is the Bible and the best Person to go to for wisdom and guidance is none other than Jesus.

On the cross, Jesus showed us what perfect love looks like, perfectly exemplifying this familiar passage:

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 

1 Corinthians 13:4–7

We can always come to God for grace, strength, faith, and wisdom to love. We can love because God showed us what perfect love is.

 

 

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The Author

Aaron and Ahira Santelices

Aaron and Ahira work for Every Nation Philippines. They met on campus when they were students. In a span of 11 years, they became friends, more than friends, now each other’s better half. Fast-forward, their statuses may have changed but their passion for serving God, His mission, and reaching students didn’t.

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